On Thursday a PREA complaint that I filed back in November 2021 came back substantiated! It was inmate on inmate abuse. Now when I begun to inquire about what actions would be taken against the perpetrator, I was advised not given any information. This is not only wrong but it runs afoul to PREA.

It’s ironic, that I remain in solitary for breaking the rules that did not violate PREA yet someone who has violated PREA is still left in a position where they can harass others. Everyone wants to place their personal opinion on my situation that is why I remain in solitary, unable to shave: force to grow a damn beard, missing most of my recreation time, and just suffering.

It’s a punishment thing to them; they cannot punish the other women involved so I am punished I am to wear all the punishments. At what point does human dignity come and and people see that a human can only take but so much.

I guess since I don’t feel safe in a male prison and have declined DOC leadership offer, the punishment will be to make me remain in solitary for as long as they can; no one from administration (with the exception of Mr. Fusaro) has come to see me and they can care less about my conditions, I have been told by others this is the price you pay. I am 27 years old, I am transgender, I have been through pure hell, trying to cope with growing up in the prison system. I a sorry for falling in love and simply causing staff so much embarrassment.

Everyone talks about restorative justice and inclusion for equality, yet staff can not even get past the fact that I am housed in a woman’s prison congruently with my gender identity; rather than the facility acknowledging the flaws within its system and policy, they attacked me and that was a attack on the trans community; its not hormones nor a surgery that makes us the women we are. We don’t choose this lifestyle. It’s deeply enrooted in us. They wish to punish me until I break. So promise to keep you informed.

Everyone deserves to be upset, yet the only thing I can do is be honest, none of this was planned. Yet, what am I suppose to turn my back on someone who I love? What am I actually suppose to believe that after surgery these people will see me as equal! This is not what the LGBTQ community kicks for, these departmental people have never struggled they don’t know what’s its like to spend nights on the streets in Atlantic City hoping that someone will love me. They don’t know what’s it’s like to be in solitary and want nothing but to die.

Some people don’t want attention, they just want the pain to be over. What’s the point of advocating when Edna has become entrenched in failures. What’s the point of advocating when people can not look past your flaws. Advocating for what to hear suits and ties say that they are “doing everything for the safety and security if all inmates”. How is it safe when, staff ignore real legitimate PREA concern, how is it safe when inmates are miscounted and hidden in other inmates rooms. How?

I care about safety and I know how important it is, there is a strong distinction between a inmate being raped by a officer and another inmate engaging in sex with their friend consensually. This is the facts, well the agency will try to pursue this case like it’s a abuse case and that will always be my argument point. What genitals or medical status someone has should never be what defines abuse, instead it should always be about consent.

In my situation the Department wasted no time to say that the sex was consensual yet the reality is that inmates are not suppose to have sexual contact. Things like the sexual activity within Edna are ignored an instead a controversial topic is chosen guess to draw the attention from what is really going on.